Author: reillymgray

It didn’t have to be this way. Justified fear is a way of life now, afraid to go anywhere or be near anyone. An invisible invading army crossed our shores and the impeached President tried to wish it away and pass responsibility on to the states when a federal response was crucial and the only way to curtail the virus to keep Americans safe. More than 175,000 Americans are dead now, and the number is still growing daily, due to the poor handling of the Coronavirus. A national masking mandate, coordinated PPE procurement and distribution, and the development and implementation of rapid testing and tracing needed to be put in place as soon as the virus was reported. There was a written plan on the shelf and all he needed to say was “go.” So simple, but ignorance won out!

Our system of checks and balances failed us. Apparently, there are no qualifications to be president of the United States, you just have to fool enough people into voting for you. How can ONE unqualified person keep the richest most technologically advanced country in the world from stopping this deadly virus? The CDC, the experts, should have been automatically deployed to stop the spread. There are three EQUAL branches of government in our democracy. This should not have been the decision of one person! The executive branch has become too powerful and needs to be checked so that their shortcomings don’t result in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Americans. “I alone can fix it” is the BIGGEST lie impeached President Trump ever utter, it was definitely the most deadly!

The complicit Republican senators, Fox News and other right wing media have blood on their hands as they looked the other way and outright lied to keep this corrupt, inept, impeached President from being removed from office while downplaying the deadly dangers posed by COVID-19. On election night 2016, I had an overwhelming sense of doom and gloom, but I never imagined that it could be this bad or this deadly! I really believed or hoped that our systems, structures and institutions would protect us from a single destructive individual, but they did not!

The Republican Party in its current form has become the identified patient that has emerged from our family crucible (Napier and Whitaker). Our family includes Republicans, Democrats, Independents and everyone in between.

Dysfunction is part of all families. What is concerning is the degree of dysfunction. In the beginning, I didn’t understand the rage and anger coming from the right. I realize that some people are unsettled by the cultural and economic changes we’ve been experiencing, but am baffled by the extreme reaction. Combativeness rather than cooperation and compromise.

When I look back at the beginnings and continuation of this grievance mentality, I find Newt Gingrich, Roger Aisles, Rush Limbaugh and Donald Trump. After reading accounts of their childhoods, I found a common thread of family dysfunction of a relatively high degree. Collectively, they experienced physical and/or emotional abandonment, and emotional abuse.

These types of childhood experiences can lead to adults with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) with the following potential characteristics:

• Lack of empathy
• Struggles with relationships
• Promiscuity
• Self-serving and un-remorseful
• Power grabbing
• Complete disregard for others
• Complete disregard for right and wrong
• Complete disregard for truth, fairness, the law
• Complete disregard for consequences of their actions
• Blame others for their shortcomings
• Arrogance, feeling their above everyone else
• Verbally abusive and overly critical
• Not properly socialized, have not internalized societal norms
• Don’t know how to be a member of community
• Manipulative
• Impulsive
• Fear being vulnerable
• See life as a zero-sum game
• Refusing to back down even when it’s self-defeating
• Ruthless, uncaring
• Can’t effectively communicate emotions
• Fragile egos
• Materialistic and focused on the pursuit of wealth
• And don’t know they have it

Newt Gingrich brought these characteristics to congress, Roger Aisles to cable news through the creation of Fox News, Rush Limbaugh to right wing AM radio and Donald Trump to the White House collectively spreading this dysfunction throughout our country.

It’s not just a Republican thing, it’s an American thing as we’ve become more accepting of this kind of behavior. A pronounced focus on money seems to be the culprit. Since “…there is no paid family leave after the birth of a child. …family attention tends to be on making money, which is known to make people self-centered. Today, even wealthy families don’t understand what young children need and are not providing the evolved nest that babies need for developing their full human capacities.” Why Are (Some) Males’ Egos So Fragile? by Daricia F. Narvaez Ph.D. http://www.psychologytoday.com.

Even though the Trump Republicans are the identified patient of American dysfunction right now, we all need to work to return to normalcy. When the therapist finds the identified patient, the entire family comes in for counseling.

We have to stop accepting this dysfunctional behavior, especially in our leaders. Many see this behavior as strong and decisive. It is not. It is destructive. Being mean and uncaring is not manly, it’s selfish like a spoiled child. We need to insist on leaders with an evolved emotional intelligence. Selfishness and greed has become our national character leaving little room for compassion and true servant leadership. This dysfunctional behavior is dominating the airwaves and politics. We need to focus on becoming fully human. We need to do unto others as we would have them do unto us and to love our neighbor as ourself.

Being strong is not crushing something even though you can…

Impeached President Trump held what was supposed to be a press conference at his Bedminster Golf Resort in New Jersey yesterday.  But he un-cleverly allowed club members to saunter in, drinks in hand, some with masks some without, to turn it into a tiny political rally. When reporters questioned that not wearing a mask indoors was breaking New Jersey law, Trump gave some vague excuse that political events were exempt from that law. Sadly, the club members broke out in triumphant cheers of defiance. The Trump Virus is winning again…

Why is the greatest, richest, smartest and most powerful nation in the world being devastated by a virus that other countries are able to contain?

We have no, essentially needed, national testing and tracing plan to effectively contain and kill off COVID-19 which has so far taken over 150,000 American lives. Why?

The Trump administration did not implement a national testing and tracing plan “…because the virus had hit blue states hardest, ….and would not make sense politically… The political folks believed that because it was going to be relegated to Democratic states, that they could blame those governors, and that would be an effective political strategy” from How Jared Kushner’s Secret Testing Plan ‘Went Poof Into Thin Air’ by Katherine Eban vanityfair.com. Eban further states that the Trump administration has a determined disinterest in big federal action and was trying to block any new funding for testing and tracing.

We are facing the worst health crisis in 100 years and have everything we need to stop it, but we are not because Donald Trump is using it as a re-election strategy. Americans have sacrificed socially, educationally, financially and with their lives and the lives of their loved ones, yet we are worse off and facing a bigger spike in the fall. This failure of true leadership has allowed this Trump virus to devastate our country and our lives.

For those who hate big government this is what a little, feckless government looks like when a life threatening problem occurs that only a strong federal response can resolve. Devastation!

The problem with let the blue states fend for themselves is that COVID doesn’t recognize state colors or lines. This is a national crisis that requires a national response and impeached President Trump has failed all of us, red or blue. Vote to not be used as a pawn!

Now that the human genome has been fully decoded, physical anthropologists have determined that light skinned people have only been around for about 8000 years. Hominids, early humans, have been around for more than two million years and homo sapiens, modern humans, for about 40,000 years.

As people migrated north, natural selection favored those with lighter skin because it more easily absorbed UV light in the low light northern hemisphere and those able to digest the sugars in milk because it fostered vitamin D absorption. This low light level and milk tolerance caused and supported the depigmentation of the skin. Today only 11.5% of the world’s population is Caucasian.

Whiteness is just a result of environmental adaptation and nothing more. We all come from the same place. We may be a majority in the U.S., but we are by far the minority in the world. Fighting that reality is futile and unnecessary. We would do better to focus on our commonalities than on our superficial differences and make the world a good place for everyone.

Love all, serve all, all is one.

R.I.P. John Lewis, Civil Rights Icon, United States Congressman from Georgia, champion of voter’s rights. Representative John Lewis passed away yesterday at the age of 80. He marched with Martin Luther King, Jr. and was part of the nonviolent movement his entire life and always humble. A commentator said “he’s been on the right side of history.” President Barack Obama called him the “conscience of the United States Congress.”

I celebrate his life and I’m saddened by his loss. But I’m am most distraught by the undoing of his life’s work by the current administration. Voter’s rights must be enforced. Stop the divisiveness and stop voter suppression! Enough is enough…..

When will Trump and Barr be held accountable? Lie after lie, despicable act after despicable act, lawlessness, destruction of the Justice Department and democratic norms? It is exhausting and I pray that the damage is not permanent!

I don’t know where to start. There has never been a time in my adult life when so many catastrophic things were happening at the same time. It seems to me that we can’t handle a pandemic, unemployment and social unrest if we are divided. The division has seemingly permeated, even, once cohesive groups.

To see white retirees living in the same community divided with one side screaming black lives matter and the other screaming white power, shows just how deep this division has gone. Why would someone who is financially secure and living a comfortable life feel threatened by someone holding a black lives matter sign? I don’t know.

The divider and chief, Trump news and his enablers have created and sustained this culture of divisiveness. We need a uniter, for divided we fall. VOTE!

Social safety nets, random acts of kindness and being one of the thousand points of light are seen as weak in these times of toxic masculinity. Our society, in its current state, over values strength, power and assertiveness at the expense of cooperation, empathy and community. Emphasis on masculine power is often associated with a disregard for consequences and responsibility. This is unacceptable.

Masculine pride, exaggerated masculinity and self-reliance are characteristics of machismo. It’s superficial, self-involved and anti-community. It puts babies in cages, refuses to wear a mask during a pandemic and brings assault rifles into the courthouse. It is destructive!

We need balance. We need to be strong, assertive and a leader in the world while being humble, empathetic and nurturing. It can be done. It’s been done before! Reject toxic masculinity!

The freedoms granted by our Constitution are awesome and powerful for the individual. They represent hundreds of thousands, if not millions of years of human intellectual and social evolution, the apex of human thought. We have freedom of expression, to share our thoughts and criticize the government. That used to mean that you could stand on a soapbox in the town square and shout your thoughts, hand out flyers on the corner, and maybe send a letter to the editor or write a book. But, today anyone with a smart phone can send their thoughts and opinions around the world in an instant!

We are bombarded with a constant tsunami of information and points of view much from dubious sources. Some is intentionally false in order to divide us while some speak untruths to gain personal wealth and power. We are guaranteed the right of freedom of expression, but it is illegal to yell fire in a crowded theatre when there is no fire.

It is our responsibility to know the source and validity of the information we share, and if we’re not sure we shouldn’t share. Today, it’s like millions of people are yelling fire when their isn’t one! The awesome power of individual freedom of speech requires individual responsibility to to know and tell the truth. The survival of our democracy depends on it.